Fewer sounds are sweeter than a host at a party declaring, “dinner is served.” However, as you make your way to the table, which is usually beautifully set, there is a moment of anxiety and awkwardness, as you ask yourself, “where do I sit?” Others approaching the table are likely having the same moment of existential doubt, as glances are covertly and quietly shared. Finally, someone has the courage to ask, “where should we sit?” The reply is often, “sit wherever you wish”. More awkwardness. More questions;
“Do I take the seat closest to me?”
“Do I avoid the chair at the end of the table?”
“Do I really have to sit next to…(fill in the blank)?”
We’ve all been in this situation. In another scenario, we may find nametags on the table. This takes away the angst of trying to find your place, but can raise different questions: “why did she/he choose this specific space for me between these specific people?”
I’m thinking I’m overthinking this. Let’s face it: nametags or not, the situation is quickly resolved, and everyone enjoys a good meal. Any anxiety dissolves as the joy and laughter of a gathered table take over.
Dinner tables are a great analogy for life. They represent fundamental human needs: the need for connection, the need to be nourished, the need for shared space and experience, and the need to know that we are wanted and affirmed, and that a place has been provided and set aside for us.
Imagine for a moment arriving at a dinner table and scanning it, only to discover that you have been left out. There is no nametag for you, and thus no chair for you. The meal has been carefully and lovingly prepared, but it does not include you. Imagine returning to your car feeling embarrassed and neglected, to say nothing about feeling hungry.
This month is Pride month. Events, parades and events will be taking place around the world to celebrate and affirm the inherent right of all people, especially those who are LGBTQ, to live a life that is safe and free. Some ask why we need Pride Month. The answer to me is simple: we need Pride month to ask ourselves once again, “is everyone invited to the table?”
A momentary angst about where to sit at a table is nothing compared to feeling like there is no place for you. This month, let us affirm again that all are welcome at the table. All have a right to join in the feast. All are invited to raise a glass and celebrate the most basic pleasures of life: food, community, acceptance and love.
