People who study such things, are telling us that we are entering the “unhappiest” time of the year. The middle of January. Apparently, we are more unhappy between January 7th to the 25th than at any other time. And it makes perfect sense as to why we may lag at this time of the year; the Christmas bump is over, the days are cold and dark, spring seems impossibly far away, and the scale is telling us that we really didn’t that daily glass of egg nog over the holiday season. The author Roald Dahl once said, “if I had my way, I’d remove January from the calendar altogether and have an extra July instead.” Interesting idea.
Now I should be clear that not all of us are singing the January blues. Some embrace the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” philosophy, and are out there making the most of this month. To our skiers, snowshoers, hockey players, hikers and winter adventurers; thank you for reminding us that winter can have its blessings!! And still others are escaping the January blues, by escaping altogether, and ditching snow for sand. If you are reading this while sitting on a beach in Cancun, good for you!! The rest of us are very happy for you (insert tear emoji here).
So, I thought what better time to reflect on happiness, than when many of us feel it the least.
Let me ask the age-old question, “what makes us happy?” There are, no doubt. a million answers to that question, and the answer will differ according to where we are in life. If you ask a child “what makes you happy?” you may get a very different answer than if you had asked a senior. Happiness is subjective and situational. That’s what makes it hard to define. Nevertheless, some big thinkers have come up with some interesting thoughts on the topic.
Joseph Addison once wrote, “the grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.”
John Stuart Mill, “I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them.”
And then there was Nathanial Hawthorne who believed that we don’t find happiness, but rather it finds us. He put it this way “happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” Good thought. I might also suggest that Hawthorne finds a certain amount of happiness in his aggressive use of commas.
Aristotle believed that there are two types of happiness in life. He called them “Hendonia” and “Eudaimonia”. Hedonic happiness is derived from pleasure. We can be happy when we do things we enjoy, such as spending a day at a spa or going out for dinner at a favourite restaurant. Eudaimonic happiness, on the other hand, is meaning-based. It is derived from such things as meeting challenges, completing our responsibilities, and having a deeper sense of purpose in life. Aristotle believed that both pursuits of happiness can be effective, although he concluded that happiness based on living a meaningful life is more lasting than happiness based on seeking pleasure.
Jesus had a very interesting take on happiness. He believed that happiness was found in stripping away the non-essentials, allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable, and then committing to something greater than yourself. He once said, “if you want to gain your life, you must first lose it.”
Clearly, there is no one prescription for a happy life. It is a journey of many different roads. Maybe in the end it is George Burns who got it right when the said, “we are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.”
I hope you are finding your moments of joy in these cold and dark days of winter. If not, please reach out, make a connection, and let someone know you are feeling down. Even if we don’t always know the prescription for happiness, we do know that unhappiness is eased in the company of others.
Let’s all take care of each other and get through this challenging time of the year.
